The day that change everything

10 April 2017, the day that change everything in my life. Ibu mula sakit teruk, demam kuning, xdpt makan and minum, if not akan muntah balik. and for the first time experience in my family history, my family member, ibu kena tahan wad. Dr said masalah hati, hati tak dapat nk berfungsi and jadi demam kuning.

from that day, ibu staying at hospital, bergilir2 jaga ibu dgn adik beradik.. minggu pertama dan kedua, ibu diletak dkt wad biasa.. nampak macam okay je tapi sebenarnye ibu kena puasa sepanjang masa.. cuma masuk susu je dr tiub..

day by day kesihatan ibu makin teruk, tapi ibu kuat, masa jaga dia, pagi2 dia nak jalan, pusing wad sbb tak nak baring je.. 

Dr dah inform, yg ibu ada cancer breast at first, and tgh buat ujian untuk satu lagi ketulan dkt bahagian usus ibu, yg mungkin dr cakap cancer and to be ready because if its cancer , its means dah tahap keempat sebab dah merebak ke tempat lain.

but ready? of course not.. we just hope for ibu untuk sembuh..

but makin lama, dari elok pernafasan, ibu makin susah nak bernafas, sometimes malam, tiba-tiba ibu akan sesak nafas, muntah-muntah and the third week, ibu dihantar ke ccu, a bit private ward and tak boleh tunggu malam macam masa dkt ward lama.. so after works, ill just come to hospital tgk ibu, and weekend akan stay dr pagi ke petang dkt sana..

dr bagi ibu pakai topeng oksigen yg kuat, yg tolakkan oksigen ke dalam, sebab ibu dah susah nak bernafas.. and ibu tak boleh bercakap dah sangat, bibir dah kering sebab kena puasa dari awal masuk ward. ibu stay macam tu, sampai lah 10 Mei 2017, the day dr told us, they cant do anything, blood pressure ibu makin rendah, demam tak kebah, tinggi and pernafasan dah makin susah.. the doctor told us to get ready in a few days.. 

you know what, i still act strong masa tu, think of, takkan la ibu pergi cepat mcm tu.. ibu wont, ibu akan sembuh.but im wrong. 

11 May 2017 - 430am, got called from hospital, i was sleeping at the hall so I receive the called first said ibu tak sedarkan diri dah.. Like its the first time since ibu warded, ibu tak sedarkan diri.. pergi hospital naik moto pagi2 dgn ayah and straight naik atas, dr ada and tgh buat pump untuk ibu but ibu tak respond.

the situation masih sama sampai pukul 12, ibu tak sedarkan diri lagi , ayah suruh aku dgn along balik rumah and tukar baju mandi sebab tak mandi dari pagi, stay dgn ibu dari pagi. 

on the way ke hospital balik, receive call dari adik, ibu dah takda..... 

11 May 2017 . Ill never forget this date. The day that I lost my mother. Because of cancer. 

I miss my mother.. I cant talk about her, cant look at her picture yet because again, I'll crying like now... 

I need a rest.